{
    "version": "3.47.0",
    "schema": "1.0",
    "source_role": "uncorrected text extraction derivative; authority remains the exact registered PDF for this edition",
    "book": {
        "slug": "antichrist-cx",
        "sequence": "01",
        "title": "AntiChrist cx",
        "subtitle": "Journal of the So-Called AntiChrist",
        "source_designation": "AntiChrist cx: Journal of the So-Called AntiChrist",
        "period": "2000–2004",
        "status": "historical source",
        "source_class": "canonical-local",
        "expected_sha256": "ad4089a1113e1a910544dbbd96e5b53d41311f3bf29faefe9615f50239ecf889",
        "declared_pdf_pages": 69,
        "local_page_archive": true,
        "local_source_verified": true,
        "page_archive_available": true,
        "page_archive_count": 69,
        "download_page": "https://ghrisx.com/en-US/books/"
    },
    "page": 60,
    "page_meta": {
        "pdf_page": 60,
        "path": "/source/books/antichrist-cx/pages/page-060.txt",
        "bytes": 4285,
        "sha256": "60193de7c9da82e99197d8b9fb7be190fadf45e59ff92242d00bbbaf7aff65f0",
        "text_empty": false
    },
    "text": "117\nJanuary 2002\nAs if there was an answer! As if the sky would open and show\nme a way to live free and happy. To see my life in some sort\nof utopia away from the reality that binds us together. Why\nmust it be this way, why have you, in your hart found nothing\nbut the lost days of what could have been and as I retire to my\nwarm bed do I know that my fate is so much better. I wish this\nstruggle was over I wish I was done with this life, I have seen\nmore then I ever wanted, and pain is all I even know. The love\nthat I have is so often abused that fear is nothing, and life\nnever ends, for me. But sill I cry to the powers let this end;\nonly to remember there is only one way out...\nIt is in the forest near the river where the just past the top of\nthe hill, at bottom. Tall trees shade the earth and light green\nmoss blankets the ground. It is there where the future waits to\nbe uncovered and the past slowly turns to dirt. This fifty foot\nacross circle is unbroken, and marked on all sides with the\nsymbols of the counsel one on each tree facing the center, on\neight points. A line where no life grows stretches from one\ntree to the next forming octagram on the forest floor. Standing\nin the center looking up there is a break in the tree line, so that\nat noon in the summer the sun shines down on the center.\nTHE REASON I HAVE ASKED YOU HEAR I now see that\naction is necessary and will in the end stop the further onset of\nwhat has come to be known as The Third Day of Tilmisakia. If\nnot understood, then it was not meant to be understood only to\nbe misinterpreted in passing. For now what is understood is\nnothing more then a week convection of principles beneath\nwhich is the idea that all, that is understood could and usually\nis misinterpreted at some point along the way from, idea to\nthought, to conversation to thoughts interpretation and in some\ncases back down to an idea that is far different from that\nintended. Solved only when that idea is the same. Then\nconversation is the practice of reiterating, that which was\nalready understood. And instead of convincing it becomes the\nchallenge of applying. For no time is wasted on those who can\nnot understand. We are not to practice to convert instead it is\nthe practice of life in the aversion of the tangible world, and\nthe week willed have always fallen pray to fears of moral lusts\nfor life and such things. Let them ours is the thicker blood,\n118\nrunning deep within the thoughts of all. Our dreams are the\nfuture of the meek and feeble minded and in this there is\npractical application of otherwise useless parasols of\ninformation. Deep within random sub-conscience flurry of\nthese parasols is in my experience the best expression of Idea.\nThat being the ultimate in nothing more then illogical jargons\nor in is it in fact what makes or breaks all of our dreams and\naspirations as we raise toured the hollow gold plated trophy of\nlife.\nIf you know the law then you know that law is only in place to\nserve the common man and if law becomes burden, then it is\nnot law it is a dark shadow of the true hierarchy left in place\nby people to week to blame the culprit and bath instead in self\npity and regret. This, my last day will bring light to more then\njust your true conviction but also to help to reevaluate the\nheathenistic self-evident indignities of those left without\nfurther recourse. Than almost without regard life is restored\nand those left in pain dwell truly in a love of their pain, and\ntheir self induced hell is of course, preserved. For most though\nexistence is revitalized and life is love or a exaggeration of our\nperception of need. We see no other way. Embrace my words,\nin yours. In life you chose only one true goal and if yours is to\nsurvive you have doomed yourself to fail.\nFallen from the grace of the test, and engulfed in the flames of\nthe false fire in the lost world. Last of the sacred! Last of the\nbeloved unknown! If buy chouse or by fate, what is needed\nwill work. Find your self looking at soulless drowns, in a\nliving hell. In the days before the cast, before the limitations of\nour mortal creation we lived as evolved as lost life in a\nlimitless universe of tedium. In the known, in the beginning,\nBrothers gather your needs and reform the belief in life. Now\nis our hour, awaken!\n",
    "full_book_download_on_this_host": false,
    "full_book_download_page": "https://ghrisx.com/en-US/books/"
}