AMIANISM / PDF PAGE 78 OF 181
23. The So-Called Terrorist Reads Himself
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62 23. The So-Called Terrorist Reads Himself Journal Entry I called the second book Journal of a So-Called Terrorist because power had learned to turn one word into a locked door. I seized the label before the label could seize me. Provocation was armor. If I called myself the worst thing first, no one could surprise me with it. If I made myself historically dangerous, then I could not be socially disposable. I will not hand the word back with a bowed head. Governments have used the language of terror to erase resistance, dissent, nationality, religion, grief, and legitimate struggle. States have bombed civilians and called it strategy. Movements have attacked civilians and called them symbols. The flag changes. The disappearance of the person does not. Here is the line I draw now, and I draw it as a rebel rather than an apologist: A PERSON IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE TARGET FOR A SYSTEM. A grievance can be real. An occupation can be unjust. A government can commit crimes. A court can destroy a life. A corporation can make poverty look like personal failure. None of that grants authority to turn an uninvolved human being into punctuation. That boundary does not domesticate rebellion. It prevents rebellion from becoming the throne. Protect civilians. Reject torture. Reject collective punishment. Reject dehumanization. Refuse unlawful orders. Expose crimes with evidence. Organize. Protest. Litigate. Strike. Publish. Preserve the archive. Build institutions that power cannot quietly purchase. Do not turn the public into a substitute because the powerful are difficult to reach. Some of my old sentences were meant to frighten. Some were fantasies of power. Some were a wounded man standing at the edge of himself and demanding the world step back. The throne wants me to say that nothing in those pages was real. I refuse. The rage was real. The surveillance was growing. The World Wide Brain was forming. The economy was learning to classify people as surplus. The machine was taking the shape I feared. The rebellion remains.