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emotional pain therefore I should be medicated for

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emotional pain therefore I should be medicated for
savior depression, but I will not take that pill, or
prescribe to the "norms". If you don't like me, find
me and kill me. I will not die today, or by your
hand. You will bow down to my wishes, or heaven
help me... The plague upon the earth shall be a
window into your soul, and those that see it will
gasp in horror as the lava pores from my glass into
the wind, and the ashes bury any trace of your
existence. So came the night, wrestles night, as slept
in a pillow soaked in blood, and wondered how long
until I would awaken, how long until I would be
free... and at what cost. Sacrifice? Human sacrifice?
To spiritually let go of any hope or guidance, and
pray that I am not needed. That alone threw the
dessert, hell on earth and the golden idols, that
threw it all a good and strong person will emerge?
Trust ones ability to raise themselves surrounded by
holy rolling Christian swine. That one day the past
will shine threw and "truth" and identity, will be
one, and that "one" will understand. The thicker
blood will rise, intelligence, thoughtfulness, will
prevail. I want what is best, and I loath the influence
of the dirt pedaling Christian Mafia of hate. This
should have never turned out his way.
If I had been wealthier it would not have, I have
seen the beast, and understand it's nature. I have
fallen on my knees and prayed it would be defeated,
then I realized I am part of it, as are you. All I can
do is create a new beast, to seek and destroy, that
too is the nature of the beast. IF the beast was water
then this would be die, and in the summer those
who try...
11/10/03 cx I write this by candle light. The moon is
high and full, by tomorrow this will be a memory if
I can remember it. It being nothing at all what was
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to be then but is now, and will be again. Time on a
place a sinking ship, a pleasure cruse? What was
once 1 and 0 's to colors back down to 1 and 0 's.
I have enjoyed my life heaven and hell. Lived it to
the fullest my way most of the time. Battle with
frogs for the kingdom a stained glass window as
fragile as those that sit beneath it.
I BlatAmer, I Trosnet, Froster, Kadameal, Sosner,
Jasmine my beautiful cat. Can any of us SEE the
"truth?"
I sit in the dark candle light beneath a fan attached
to a ceiling attached to a roof, that blocks my view
of the stars, my nature.
It is time I won, this battle I never wanted.
Can we walk as men among the gods and still
find ourselves to be unique and glorified in our
own right?
I remember what I was. In life all I wanted was to
be a starving artist. To do work that people
appreciated. That was all I ever wanted...
I was forced into this, I had forgotten who I am. I
am an artist, that is all. Just trying to live my life the
way I chose not the way you want(ed) me to. This is
truly who I am, Just an artist, trying to escape a
world that is all to complicated for me to care to
even try to understand. I am just a lowly artist not
even a good one. People know me, they like my
work.
Smile and the whole world...