Al.Qaeda.net

November 2003

67
November 2003
11/25/03 cx the building blocks of all matter are the
same as those of all other forms of energy. So all
life “as we know it“ is made up of cretin
fundamental elements characteristic of life. So now
to beg the question, rebuild life still out of matter
but in a new way. You have come hear in your
search, I have many answers,,, many solutions still
far outside my grasp, the sun at noon show light
onto the flower that flower was life and I had not
seen it in days or years, suppressed within myself
within my hatred of myself for what I could not
have and who I could not be. No I am not satisfied
with who I am or what my life has been made of as
of yet but I know that no one owes me a sun rise, no
man, woman, god, or demon owes me anything, I
sink or I swim in the ocean of life and I will do it
weather I want to or not that is the nature of my
struggle. I have seen, the less you want to fight the
more people think that they can pick on you. The
more blood you spill and people you hurt so it
would seem the better off you are. Anything you do
in self defense will be seen as weakness, because if
you where not weak you would not need to
reinforce your guard. I have seen all of this and
more and not I am waiting for a sign a smoking gun
so I can move the troops forward. Maybe I don't
want to wait anymore, maybe I want to fight, maybe
blood lust has gotten the best of me after all, maybe
not. I like to talk and I like it when people listen, as
much as I would like to wave my have and make
my ambitions real, it is you that is the judge, the
jury, and the executioner. Of what I do not know,
but maybe you could help me with that, to
understand better how I fit in to not just the world
68
but my own life, my own existence. This is a
tragedy to know so much more then I should and as
I silence the cries of hunger with death… to not cry
that I am wrong, to want silence to be in pain, to
hate what so much what it has become... I implore
you do something, don't throw it all away and admit
defeat when the truth is the only battle is between
ideas, between culture, and ways of life believe.
Individually we are all solders for what we believe
is just and right! And most of us know that the
Dollar is king, and the USA is our only true god.
Those of you that turn away and say heathen, you
don't understand that collection plate is to feed the
beast your church does workshop the almighty
dollar. There is not rest of the soul there is no
escape, there is only chaos, to remove your self to
turn you back on our GOD (money) will surly mean
death, wiping one more miserable weak blood line
from the rivers of future slavery. That else to do but
to embrace demon, to become the beast, and
embalm the nature of man for all eternity. Better
that then to fall pray, better that then to allow the
weak and the weak minded to flourish in happy go
luck state of slavery. We are doomed.
11/10/03 cx This is a day of change, a pivotal point
in the future of many. The war against me and my
influence on my daughter has been stepped up. I
still do not want to fight with anyone. Pacifism does
not work, those who refuse to fight are run over, in
the long run those who fight survive because life
and everything in it is a battle. A battle I never
cared to be part of. Even as my passive way of life,
and my very beliefs where under scrutiny, I did not
back down, but I did not fight when I should have.
This is my rock, I am part of it, the earth, time, and
the abyss. I think therefore the chemical receptors in
my brain are still in working order. I feel constant